Just to let you know..

dis is just to name a few bloggers whose blogs i love to read..most of them hardly know me..but still i felt to write it down here..


Satans darling for memoirs->I love your honesty which shows in whatever you write..Its a part of me in your writings..:)>:D<

Ms.R for expressive silence->You are awesome man!You seemed to have seen so much and you take such good inspirations from all that life gave you..it gives me an extra courage on my way to thank life..:)

Annie for ice Maiden->I love your 'direct from the heart' posta..which are written instantly without being much thought of but yet so well expresssed..:)

Nabs-> for being mysteriously beautiful with her heart touching stories
..keep them coming..they reflect love as an individual in itself..

kajal->akka the pink orchid->seriously from your attractive writing skill to your humour(courtesy writers lounge)..Deres s much for me to learn and read..you rock!

princess mia(i found your blog viz Ms.R's blog)->You are some individual I would love to meet someday..thankfully i read almost all your posts before you renovated your blog and I must say i became a fan of yours instantly..:P


special note to Ms.R..keep on writing some stories and random regular stuffs other than poems for me..pleech pleech..ur poems are spectacular..but I personally love your stories and your thoughts..so its a request..i miss your stories a lott..as becoz jitne bhi tumne likhe hai i have read all:P..so i m asking for some more..hope i din offend you:D..


Love to all of you...

ps:its no oiling,buttering..or anything...I have wanted to tell dis indiviadually to all of you but never could do so..m a psycho..:|..so today since m all in a mood to write ,i thought i shd fulfil my wish to let you ppl know dat i love reading your blogs..keep writing..I never comment..coz I can't..Does'nt even matter if no single person reads dis coz all i wanted was to let my interest out..You are the ones who will always be appreciated..and my aprreciations will alws stay widin my heart..just keep writing..love ya all:)

I hate dis ...i m frustrated rite now..

Its 1:53a.m. and m hungry..we(me and my parents)skipped dinner today..various reasons..I was angry n sentimental and did'nt want to eat and then all of a sudden nobody wanted to eat.For a change I don't want to blame myself atleast today for folks not eating..

Right now I am feeling lonely..very lonely..I am in no mood to talk to anybody..thou the people I thought I wd like to talk to called up demselves!!thank 'YOU' for this thing..thou dat doesnt make me feel any better...

I just want to get over this feeling that everytime you do something without any expectation..just out of pure love..you are taken for granted..it mite not be so..!!but right now I think so :|..I just wanted appreciation ppl! Not like yeah you do so much and you understand so much..but atleast silence would have been better na??I seriously didn't want some criticization on my favour..

its not for today that I behaved like a child coz I din get to eat momos(funny na?)..but its for what you ppl thought of me..I want to take care of you both!dats why inspite of my exams a few days ahead m doing all dats possible to give you both sum rest..Does it make any difference to you people that I have changed so much..that my hatred for you ppl changed into so much love that it wdn't change ever again no matter what happens?Do you observe how much I have been working for you both..dat everything m doing is to make you ppl happy?(yeah coz i guess i was born with that feeling that someday I want to make you both very proud..of me..)...

Yaar I just want a bit of appreciation!!I want you ppl to realize that I am doing things becoz I love you and I care for you both..and heck you don't even realize!why????COZ YOU THINK I SHD DO ALL DESE COZ I AM A GIRL!..c'mon folks!it hurts!just becoz I offered to do my duties(which i have set for myself) that doesnt mean you turn blind to my love for you ppl??!!


DO I ALWAYS NEED TO SHOUT TO EVERYONE I LOVE THAT I CARE??TO LO I M SHOUTING..HAPPY??BUT I WONT STILL BE VOCAL..COZ M STUBBORN..I WONT LET 'YOU ALL' KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE AND CARE..

It seems nobody till date understood my 'SILENCE'..!they want me to shout and fight n spk and say that i love ..that i care..and say what I have been feeling for them and what I have been doing for dem all by myself..!!and till date i haven't been able to do so!its always some 3rd person whom I have shared my feelings with..(yeah 3rd person mr/ms 'x' even u are sumone i love a lott and mentioned how much you mean to me to sumone else) its just a chain...I need sumone to hear me..coz yrs i have spent burrowing my thoughts within myself..Then I din even know that i shoud express!

Me:
'to my silence dat i spk today
you seem to be a mirror to me
coz i always believed you speak more than what words say'



silence:

'Today my presence seems to be vain to you
Today you think you shd give me words to express
I let you free to rebel from right now
you heart feeling like to shout and declare what 'I' always wanted to say..'

Me:
'I am still not satisfied my friend..
Their demands are never-ending
I lose..I surrender
help me friend..'


My selfless conscience says in the middle of this conversation:
"if you stop thinking about urself for a moment then you know that you live for others.and you love doing so.you love urself .but that isn't enuff of happiness that you had been searching for..you still hope to find happiness when 'they' will be happy..when you will be able to feel that you have given atleast an ounce of what they have always wanted from you.I know its not ur chosen path..but still U find more happiness in loving them rather than doing things ur way.coz dey are with you..and that pushes you forward..if they leave you..you can do everything you want..they never stopped you and they wont but without them you can't do anything..you won't have any hope left in life and u will be a living dead.this is not ur weakness as u always thought before..but ur strength that you can love them so much and that they love you so much........."


Me:
Frnd I want to think just for myself right now..
just for the time being..
coz i feel it will heal my fresh wound.


SILENCE:
I know my friend..
things will get fine again..
but all I want to give you now is loads of love and a huge hug..
yes its me embracing you all arounds right now..
I was there when you wer In your mothers womb..
remember friend you were still happy when you din lrn to spk..
I had been with you always..listening to ur worries..
sipping your tears..observing ur smile..
E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E...
yes I am everywhere..amidst all the commossions surrounding this world..
You just need to find me..
give me a 'call'..I will be right there for you..
talk to me..
You will find solace..
I can be ur best friend you always wanted..
And I promise U will Never be lonely again..
coz I m there..everywhere..for all..for 'you'


Wid love,
Silence

continued..

They are still together...He still tries to make her avoid breaking up...she thinks can she really question his loyalty n love?she doesnt know...

everytime she decides to break up....she feels a blank most painful..she knows she can go thru it..but she doesnt want to...things are just not fine...and situations are causing frustration among both of them...its just dat...he finds solace telling her everything n she prefers to keep shut wenever shes depressed...she decided not to bother her frnds anymore...so she doesnt do so....

everybody she had known had der own share of stories to tell....3frnds wer always special n dey will remain special...she knows dem pretty well...d only thing is dat she imbibed things from them which supported her wants...human nature ain't so?she had seen everybody pass thru what shes passing now...but still she wanted to go thru dis...she never blamed her frnds for anything...it was her choice n her decision...she simply wanted to share it over here...just wid a hope dey mite read it...coz she has no oder choice to let dem know dis by any oder ways..


p.s. she had a frnd...whom she mentioned to him yesterday n said i guess i should have listened to what she said...coz he was almost like d guy she loved..but still her frnd made her strong enuf..n she wants to see the end of the relationship hoping dat they mite be together sumday...


only one thing shes content about is dat she speaks to her oder frnds now...quiet a lot...tries to pacify dem...liatn to dem..share wid dem....n she hopes sumday she will get all her 3 frnds back in her life as before...